anne ryan to jim goad
voicemail transcripts from 5/28/98


3:59 pm

I told your wife not to trust you, and that you're going to talk shit behind her back up until the day she dies and after she dies and before she dies. And in no way were you loyal to her the way that she was loyal to you. And just like I said on the bus, I kinda woke up and just punched you in the face about ten times because you deserved it, you fucking prick. And your wife stood by you and did things like went down and got the SPIN magazine the day that you threw her into the fucking towel rack and shit ... She went down there, you would not go down there for her, and start to walk in the pouring rain for her and her goddamn magazine ... And you're doing the flyer to save face for your fucking public image. So fuck that shit. You know what? Your karma is going to come back to you tenfold, man. You've got so much shit coming to you ... And I've got a conscience, and my karma's right here...I'm ready to deal with it, I'm ready to change. And I'm not talking about Christianity—I'm talking about—your ego is through the roof, and the day that your wife dies is going to be a cold day in hell for you, buddy. And you know what else, too? I'm going to stick around on this earth just like I decided for my father, because I'm fourteen, fifteen fucking years younger than you, and no matter what I'm going to take care of myself, too, man, I'm going to outlive you, man, and I'm going to dance on your fucking grave. [end of message]

4:02 pm

Better-looking than I am? Oh, my God, have I told you about what I really think about your looks? Let's bring out the truth here, because you're starting to make me sick over the past couple of weeks. Actually, I've seen bad pictures of you, but that one with your curly hair from when—you look like the pubic hair club for men. That's what I thought when I saw it. Your hair is disgusting when it was all greasy and curly like that, I wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole. You have zits all over your face, you have a hook nose, you look like a lizard, your skin is disgusting, your breath stank today, and you're disgusting. [end of message]

4:04 pm

Your teeth look like rats' teeth, they're yellow and disgusting and you don't floss ... You are just-there are better-looking men, Jack Nicholson is far more better-looking than you even now at sixty-five, and more suave. And more and more you repulse me. But mostly it's your inside, and your attitude, and you remind me of my father in a lot of ways. You're just sick. I can't wait 'til the day you die. I feel nothing for you. [end of message]

4:06 pm

And I've got all your messages on tape. You can do My Sick Cunt, you can do anything you want, baby, and you're sick, too, by the way ... Um, you can to everything you want by the way and it still won't shut me up. You ain't going to shut me up, no matter what. And I'm going to do tons of zines about you. You send me to jail, I've got all your messages on tape today, pal, okay? So I've got proof that you called me up, I've got the flowers, I've got everything. You can send me to jail, and I'll get out, and I'll still do my zines, and you are going to be humiliated ... you're UGLY on the inside-out and your karma's gonna come back and you're gonna age, you're gonna wither away, you're gonna die in the ground. And I'm fifteen years younger than you, pal. Bye-bye. [end of message]