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jimgoad.net :: biological sex freaks
The Sad, Lonely World of
Biological Sex Freaks
KLINEFELTER'S SYNDROME: Sucks to be him.
Nature has drawn a strict, sharp dividing line between two genders amid all higher living creatures. Only lower life forms such as germs and viruses can be considered truly "intersexual."
Sometimes, though, nature fucks up. All human fetuses are initially asexual cumstains, but around the three-month mark, most have the good sense to start heading toward the room marked either LADIES or GENTS. In thankfully rare instances, the wires get crossed, chromosomes misfire, and out plops a sexual monster with genitals that are either deformed or--worse--of indeterminate gender.
Historically, biological sex freaks have been stigmatized and ostracized. When not outright murdered by an angry mob of normals with normal genitals, they were forced to undergo brutal, life-threatening surgical procedures to correct their highly unsexy birth defects.
Their psychosexual scars leave them violated, wounded, and afraid of genuine intimacy, not to mention the shame, distress, self-hatred, and second-guessing that afflict their parents on a near-hourly basis.
It is a sad and lonely world these freaks inhabit. They ARE different from us. Far, far different. As normal, superior, genitally intact human beings, we are duty-bound to look after them. To pity them. We are to reach out with paternalistic condescension across the chasm that separates us from these deformed textbook specimens.
In keeping with such a spirit of inner revulsion masked as patronizing charity, I present to you a Dirty Dozen of genetically induced sex syndromes. Approach with care, and don't fall in love.
AFFECTS: MALES ONLY FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 per 2.5 million male births SUMMARY: One man, TWO PENISES! In many cases, it is actually only one penis split along the shaft. But the extremely rare "true diphallia" features anything from two distinct dickie-heads to two fully developed urogenitary tracts.
AFFECTS: MALES ONLY FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 per 300 male births SUMMARY: The urethral meatus (pee-hole) is located anywhere on the penis but where it should be, almost like the hole on a flute.
AFFECTS: HARD TO TELL FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: "TRUE" VERSION--1 per 83,000 LIVE BIRTHS
"PSEUDO" VERSION--1 per 500 LIVE BIRTHS SUMMARY: A "true" hermaphrodite's internal sex organs contain both ovarian and testicular tissue. In some cases, this means a ball on one side and an ovary on the other; in others, it means hybrid beasties known as "ovatestes." To the naked eye, their external genitals tend to be iffy--maybe it's a big clit, perhaps it's a teeny weenie, perchance it's some unholy peno-vaginal mishmash. Pseudo-hermaphrodites have the chromosomes and internal sex organs of only one gender while their external protuberances are, again, anyone's guess.
4. KLINEFELTER'S SYNDROME
AFFECTS: MALES ONLY FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1.5 per 1,000 male births SUMMARY: An extra "X" chromosome or two leads to above-average height, tiny nuts, low testosterone, sub-par intelligence, sterility, and in some cases, embarrassing man-boobs.
5. TURNER'S SYNDROME
AFFECTS: FEMALES ONLY FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 per 2,500 female births SUMMARY: The absence of a crucial "X" chromosome results in average adult heights of 4'7" , a sad-looking "triangular" face, a short neck that is often webbed, a barren womb, swollen hands, spotted pigmentation, turned-out elbows, and small breasts spaced widely apart with inverted nipples.
AFFECTS: MALES ONLY FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 per 165 male births SUMMARY: The penis is normally shaped and fully functional yet hilariously small. In extremely rare cases--an estimated one in 30 million--there isn't even the suggestion of a penis.
Often a biological sex freak will be afflicted with more than one syndrome. This "gentleman" here has male and female sex characteristics and thus is somewhat hermaphroditic. But his unacceptably small excuse for male genitalia also shows that homeboy has a touch of the ol' micropenis, too.
7. PENILE TORSION
AFFECTS: MALES ONLY FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: Many men have it to some degree; not considered problematic unless penis is off-kilter more than one-eighth of a turn. SUMMARY: The penis head and/or shaft is twisted like a corkscrew, for some reason almost always in a counterclockwise direction.
8. TRIPLE-X SYNDROME
AFFECTS: FEMALES ONLY FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 per 1,000 female births SUMMARY: An extra "X" chromosome causes these "metafemales" or "superfemales" to lag behind the curve in terms of intelligence and emotional maturity. However, this is more than atoned for by the fact that these gals are tall, leggy, buxom, and wide-hipped with super-thin waists.
9. SCROTAL TRANSPOSITION
AFFECTS: MALES ONLY FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: Common enough that I could find several disgusting photos of it on the Internet, but not so much that I could find a single estimate of its frequency. SUMMARY: The penis and scrotum switch places. The ball-sac is positioned above the johnson and resembles elephant ears surrounding the trunk.
10. PERSISTENT CLOACA
AFFECTS: FEMALES ONLY FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 per 20,000 female births SUMMARY: The rectum, vagina, and urethra converge into one nauseating, funnel-like drainage hole located somewhere in the "taint" area between the clitoris and buttocks. Poop, pee, and vaginal sludge mingle freely. Corrective surgery is costly, complicated, and risky.
11. XYY SYNDROME
AFFECTS: MALES ONLY FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 per 1,000 male births SUMMARY: An extra "Y" chromosome gives these "super-males" extra height, testosterone, and acne. They have wide shoulders, thin hips, hairy bodies, and huge balls. Some evidence suggests they are prone toward lower intelligence and higher criminality.
12. DOUBLE VAGINA
AFFECTS: FEMALES ONLY FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 per 1,000 female births SUMMARY: A superfluous fleshy wall divides the vagina like an oriental room divider splits an apartment in two. Upon loss of virginity, one section stretches and assumes the role of "dominant" vagina. The other half becomes as cramped as a broom closet and thus infinitely more desirable.